we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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