so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
