My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
