Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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