I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
