He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
