You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
