he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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