dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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