Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
