i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We left an ass print on the piano.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
