What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
even my farts smell like vagina
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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