dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
