You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
