Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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