we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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