her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
