FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
