Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
