Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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