He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
