is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
