he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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