batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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