she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
