im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
