im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
