I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
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