she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
