We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
