that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
