I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
