Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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