You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
