My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
