dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
