After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
