Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Drunk is a universal language darling
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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