Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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