I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
