OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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