he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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