oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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