At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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