This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
