i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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