Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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