marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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