Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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