I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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