Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
