I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
